Jewish organizations are finding that spousal abuse occurs at an alarming rate in their faith

Eileen Schulte:

Barbara Bergling of Safety Harbor never tried to divorce her husband, a salesman.

Although she endured 25 years of being punched in the eyes, hit over the head with hairbrushes, denied money of her own, constantly threatened with never seeing their two little boys again, she simply didn't have the self-esteem or resources to leave.

"He would complain his eggs tasted like soap," said Bergling, 62, a past president of the Clearwater Chapter of Jewish Women International. "I would clean the house all day and when he came home, he would [drag] his finger across a piece of furniture looking for dust."

Her husband forbade her to go to synagogue and taunted her when she fasted for Yom Kippur.

Such tales of spousal abuse within the Jewish community have largely been hidden.

Although no hard statistics exist, Jewish organizations are finding that spousal abuse occurs at an alarming rate in their faith. Experts with Jewish Women International think that some Jews slam their spouses' heads into walls, punch them and rape them as frequently as people in any other faith or secular community.

They also say it is common for Jews who are not abusers or victims to be unaware that domestic violence exists in their religion.

The reason, according to Jewish Women International, is that the ethical teachings of Jewish tradition promote safety and peace in the home and justice and accountability for everyone.

But those teachings aren't protecting some abused women and, in some cases, abused men.

At a recent program at Congregation Kol Ami in Tampa, Rabbi David Rose, a nationally recognized advocate for abused women, said spousal battery has got to stop.

"In the Jewish community, it's an embarrassment," Rose said, adding that Jews must look past the shame and start saving lives.

Jewish Women International's goal is to help Jews acknowledge that domestic abuse exists in their religion, believe survivors who come forward, encourage prevention programs, educate religious leaders, hold abusers accountable and confront abuse as a community.

"You can't fix a problem until you are aware there is a problem," said Deena Silver, a past president of the Clearwater chapter of Jewish Women International. "It happens to everyone. That was the point we wanted to get across."

Maybe Abraham Foxman should spend some time on this problem instead of attacking Christians.